We are our biggest critic

It’s hard to be inside my head all the time. It’s one failure after another. One trip-up, another insult, another downplay. Every so often I get to say something nice to myself. Every so often I feel like I’m moving forward; accomplishing another goal. Reaching another plateau. Sometimes it lasts a couple of months then I hit a wall and fall with gravity. I can’t help to be so critical. So many chances. So many doors. So many failures (it’s all my fault). So many disappointments (can’t blame anyone else). But where would I be if these didn’t happen? It’s definitely a question I come back to. I could be famous. I could be touring with music artists. Teaching all over the world. Acting in plays/movies. Become a scientist. The possibilities were endless. The discipline, non existent. So where do I end up next?

 

Down time

With all the changes happening at once, it was nice to get cut from work early and spend some quality time with my girlfriend. We grabbed a bottle of wine, I of course grabbed my camera as well, then headed over to Treasure Island to enjoy the clear sky (before Karl the fog rolled in) and each others company while taking some long exposure shots.

 

Be Careful What You Wish For

The morning of my birthday I woke up feeling extremely grateful. For the people in my life and for how things were unfolding. I was preparing to teach a dance class that evening and then head out to meet up with a friend about his studio until I get a phone call telling me that my LiveScan hasn’t cleared yet and I can’t teach.

In the beginning I was happy to get the day off, but then my mind started to dive further. What if I get denied and I can’t teach the kids? I thoroughly enjoy teaching this class and was getting sad at the thought of not being able to teach them anymore. So then I started thinking about my other options: there’s a breaking class that I could take, a rehearsal I can be there for, maybe pick up another shift at the restaurant.

My mind was racing and I started thinking about how much I miss dancing, going to rehearsals, performing, putting on workshops, shows, events, etc… I kept spiraling down wishing that I had my life back. The things that made me feel alive. Then I look at my phone and notice that I’m running late for my meeting. Instead, we talk on the phone… he’s moving back to Taos for a little bit.

I had an idea that this might be the case. We met up a couple of weeks before where he mentioned that he might be moving and could possibly be looking for a few people to use the space while he’s gone. He had someone in place to manage the space so we wouldn’t need to worry about that and that’s what I was prepared for. But then the conversation went on. The person in place was no longer going to be there.

The conversation went on. He talks about what he’s looking to do and that he’s looking for someone to manage the space but never outright asks. I didn’t want to assume that he’s offering me the spot so I asked if he had anyone in mind and well, I’ll be making the space a photography studio and hosting different events as well starting Nov. 1st!

I wasn’t expecting something so soon, but am definitely grateful for the opportunity to be alive again. Here’s a little video of the space… a work in progress.

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Baby steps

It’s been about 12+ years since I first heard of Soulidified Project, a small media company in the Bay Area that started out doing head shots for the dance community and has grown to provide videography as well. I remember seeing their work and wanting to be part of the company, but never really put in the time to make it happen. However, I did put my time into dance which is how I became friends with the person that started the company, who I now consider family. And 12 years later, I’m doing projects under Soulidified Project.

A couple of weeks ago, he hit me up and asked if I wanted to help shoot a flash mob proposal. Of course! I couldn’t pass that up. So I told him yes. Luckily for me it was early enough in the day to where I could head to work right after since I couldn’t get any coverage.

As we were heading to the location he mentions a couple photo shoots he was doing the next day. Since I had plans to be with my gf in the morning, I was only able to make it to one of them. Which, I was able to correct mistakes from the proposal shoot. And in the end, was able to create a short behind-the-scenes video to share on instagram.

So here it is, my first credited work with Soulidified Project and also my first time putting together a video.

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On The Road

There’s something about being on the open road that makes it feel like home. The humming of the tires, the sun and moon kissing the earth, scenery passing by; a complimenting playlist and off you go into a moment of exploration that has a way of putting you at ease allowing those subtle voices to be heard and manifest into a more prominent vision. A relaxing, mind altering, insightful, meditative experience.

Here are some photos from a short weekend trip my girlfriend and I took to South Lake Tahoe. These photos were taken while on the road to and from our destination.

Here we go

It’s been a little under a year since I’ve had a camera and probably a little over since I’ve shot any portraits. Thank god for YouTube and Phlearn for giving me tutorials to watch during this tragic break. Although, you’d think I was a little better with editing; I guess hands on training would have been good too. Oh, and understanding colors better, but hey, I’m workin’ on it! Nonetheless, camera is here, practice portrait sessions are in progress, and I’m continuing up that hill to reach my photography goals damnit!

The first thing I wanted to get a handle on was lighting and Photoshop. Being able to shoot in bright sun, learning how to use an off camera flash, setting up studio lighting, knowing how to edit in Photoshop, etc, etc… After watching many different tutorials on all of these, the time had come to play around with my own toys and put what I’ve learned into practice.

A few years ago, my cousin gave me a reflector & backdrop holder, set of reflectors, a shoe mount, and umbrella he wasn’t using. Then for christmas I got a tripod and a speedlite 430exII of all which I still have around thus beginning the set-up for an unexpected photo session. What was supposed to be a few shots to practice editing with in Photoshop became 100 shots of playing around with the lighting in my room, then in the living room, with a chair, without a chair, a different jacket, and maybe a hat? There might have been some action shots in there too, but you can’t prove it!

After the mini shoot was over and the images were transferred to the computer, it was time to dive in to Photoshop.

This was my first time understanding how to use layers, mainly adjustment layers, and applying changes to a specific area in the photo on a portrait (I’ve only practiced on a photo of clouds, which do show faces, but it’s not the same.) There was even a little painting going on. Texturing needs work, but that wasn’t my focus this time around. There will be plenty of other times to continue building upon the skill set. In the meantime, here’s what I got.

When plan A falls through

Today wasn’t a bad day. It just didn’t go according to plan. Unfortunately some shoots and interviews fell through, but was able to make up for it by taking pictures at Balboa Park and getting inspired at the ArtWalk San Diego in Little Italy.

Here are some shots at Balboa Park

Then on my way out to ArtWalk San Diego, I come across this guy



Then I walked up and down the streets of Littley Italy

Which I really didn’t shoot much, but I did get to see everything and thought of some ideas I would like to experiment with.

but before I ended the day, here were my last two shots

Maternity Shoot

This past weekend I did my first maternity shoot with a good friend who wanted to do different yoga poses in La Jolla. It was a nice day so naturally there were a lot of people out. However, we managed to find a spot with minimal traffic where we started off shooting the couple together.

They brought little shoes and blocks

 

 

This next one was an idea she got from pinterest.

From there we went into the yoga poses.

 

Then ended it with the couple again

On our way to La Jolla, I thought we could go to Salk Institute to take a couple of shots… silly me. I didn’t know we couldn’t shoot there, although, I didn’t bother to check. I figured someone would tell me not to shoot if I wasn’t supposed to. Which, someone did =) But I did get a couple shots in beforehand.

This was taken as the security guy was telling me I couldn’t shoot.

 

On our way from Salk Institute to the beach, we passed by a soccer field which prompted an idea to paint her belly like a soccer ball since that’s how the couple met, but unfortunately we didn’t have time. I guess that one will be saved for another shoot.

Carlsbad, CA

It was a warm day out. A friend and I went up to Legoland to drop off a ticket for her sister-in-law. She hit me up the night before asking what I was doing the next day. It just so happens that the day before she text me, another friend and I had planned to go to LA but not until noon.

We left at 8am, dropped off the ticket and on our way back we stopped to take some pictures. This was on the way from Carlsbad, but I can’t quite remember what area this was.

 

Weekend Adventures

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted any of my photos. I feel as though I’m getting a little more comfortable with the editing process. I’m switching things up a little bit. Using a different style. Here is some of my most recent work. Went to San Francisco and got some shots from inside the car. Got back down to San Diego and took some of the Suspension Bridge.